all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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