I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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