ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize