i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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