So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
