R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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