and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
