Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Never joke about your clitoris.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
