I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
