normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
