uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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