O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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