i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
