yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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