Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
