FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
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Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
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Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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