Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
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I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
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It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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