my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
