is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
