How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
