We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
