Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
