i don't like sucking hair
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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