You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize