I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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