I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so explain again why im purple
no
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
