I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
