Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Come share oat with me in your robe
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
