the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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