I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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