My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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