Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?

(1-702): View more from Nevada

oh that explains alot.

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(618): View more from Illinois

bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented

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(678): View more from Georgia

The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.

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(602): View more from Arizona

You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.

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(517): View more from Michigan

This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.

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(518): View more from New York

i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??

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(416): View more from Toronto

and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.

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(905): View more from Ontario

Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.

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