Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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