I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
