but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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