I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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