Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
