Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize