Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
