the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."