She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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