Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
