If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
