Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
