Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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