she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
