p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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