Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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