the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
