I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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