i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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