I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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