if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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