i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
