You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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